The Autumn of the Autumn of My Life

Well, another October 6 is here and while October is my absolute favorite time of year, it always appalls me when I look in the mirror and wonder what happened to the years.  A funny thing about growing older is that our brains cannot or will not accept the idea of aging as a bad thing.  The only time my brain ever thinks of aging at all is when it says to my feet ‘Run! Run!’ or it says to my knees ‘Jump! Jump!’ or it tells my back ‘Don’t worry about it.  You’ll get over it.’  and nothing happens.  The feets don’t run, the knees don’t jump and the back will never, ever get over it again.

I’ve often thought of death, but not much about living too long.  Now, I’m not afraid of death, I’m afraid I’ll live longer than I should.  I’m afraid all of my family and my friends will leave me behind.  I’m afraid that my kids will be subjected to feelings of guilt when they neglect me and allow them to feed me applesauce at the nursing home three times a day.

I’d like to think that my next twenty years will be as productive and fun as my last twenty years, but I really don’t see that happening.  I’m a dreamer because I am a Libra, but I’m also very cynical because Mars is also in my birth sign.  I am constantly torn between war and peace, light and dark, life and death, love and hate.  This is probably why I have to eat myself into a state of happiness each day… feeding the demons meat and the angels cake.

Yesterday, I published my 26th book.  It is the 24th in the Assassin Chronicles series entitled The Angry God.  While I have written the series for entertainment purposes, I have also included a lot of commentary on religion and the conflicts suffered by the human race in general, most of it self-inflicted and worthless as far as evolution of the soul is concerned.  It seems a shame that just when a man or woman reaches the age where they might have something useful to say, they are too old for anyone to listen to them.

As I enter the autumn of my life, my series enters the autumn of its life as well.  Book 24 is out there.  I have at least four more to go, but there might be a fifth in there somewhere.  I’m not sure yet.  Oddly enough, I just started a new series and I’m almost through writing the first book of the soon to be released Apprentice Diaries, a series aimed at a younger audience.  This series, by the way, was not my idea, but was suggested loudly by some of my closest friends.  I didn’t think I would be interested, but when I got started, the thing just took on a life of its own.

Starting a new series at my age is like going into my second childhood, which I have to admit, doesn’t feel all that bad.

Incidentally, I’ve stopped thinking of the new things I learn as things that will be useful to me later on in life, but things that will be useful to me in my next life.  I don’t know if that is normal, but it isn’t so scary as it sounds and it just seemed to appear out of nowhere.

Well, enough philosophizing.  I must get and celebrate my birthday with family and friends.  Here I come Red Lobster… Endless Shrimp!  How can I ask for more?  Just wave at the waitress/waiter and say “Hey! I need more scampi over here!”

Have a great day, a great month and a great Holiday Season this year!!  And keep on reading.

One thought on “The Autumn of the Autumn of My Life

  1. PattyC says:

    Hi Brendan,
    I just had to tell you this little ditty I had seen some thirty some years ago in Readers Digest and never forgot, sounds like what your feeling.
    As I look in the mirror I see
    And my wondering never ceases
    How year after year I receive
    My cost of living in creases.

    Rock on Brendan, it’s all down hill from here.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s