It’s Monday again. Happy Monday, Everyone! Is that not the most ludicrous thing you’ve ever heard? Well, maybe not. I’ve heard worse.
Here’s a good one: “It can’t be that bad!” A remark that normally invokes the desire to rip off the remarker’s head and throw it at General Maximus Decimus Meridius’ Roman army.
And another one: “It’ll be alright.” A remark usually coming from someone who has no earthly idea what the problem is, how to fix it, how traumatic it is, nor does he/her care to know.
How about this one: “How are you this beautiful morning?” A question thrown out there just to make noise in an otherwise tension-filled, ominous-feeling vicinity (like in front of my desk).
Yet again: “Who pissed in your Post Toasties?” This question obviously shows the suicidal tendencies of the questioner since he/she is probably the cereal pisser.
Oh, and how about this one: “You look like you could use a vacation.” This remark is especially irritating when the remarker has just returned from extended sick leave during which time he/she took an impromptu ocean cruise to relieve workplace stress while you were doing your job and theirs because his/her absence made your department short-handed and, furthermore, you had to cancel your own plans for the weekend and work straight through without a day off because the other person in your department got mad about the vacation/sick leavee and called in for their weekend shift.
Now, does any of that sound familiar? If so, you must be working in a government job.
My advice: Quit now and find a private sector job where the ‘boss’ actually has the power to fire such idiots on the spot.
Thinking back on things like this make my retirement all the more wonderful.