I have decided to win the Nobel Prize for literature. I know that it is an unusual decision for a writer, but I’ve been thinking about it for quite some time. I do believe it is possible for a Texan to win the Prize even though it is virtually impossible for most Americans to win such a prize simply by way of being American. I am quite sure that being a Texan makes all the difference in the world. I mean, think about it. When Texans go abroad and visit foreign countries they invariably answer the question “And where are you from?” with “Texas!”. It would never cross our minds to say “America” since that might include not only the United States, but Canada, Mexico, Honduras, Nicaragua, Belize… you get the picture, right?
Oddly enough, most ‘foreigners’ already know that Texas is part of the United States (the best part) and they love the way we talk. Mind you, not the way we speak, not our eloquence, elocution or elegance of expression, just the way we talk in general. We are like a whole ‘nother country. They said so on television so it must be true. I, for one, would not wish to or want to or willingly live anywhere else on a permanent basis (unless I could come home at will whenever I felt the urge).
So, as I was saying, I want to be the first Texan to win the Nobel Prize for Literature. Just wanted to get that out there so the people who do the nominating know that I am ready to accept the honor.
Now, I know you are wondering why I think I have a chance at winning such a prize. It’s simple. All you have to do is Google some of the more recent winners and you will see that absolutely anyone can win a Nobel Prize. And if you go further and read some excerpts from the works of the prize winners, you will understand why I feel I am a good candidate. Why, you might even be a candidate yourself. You never can tell.